God, Wife, and Struggles

I have only ever been to one funeral in my life. It happened to be a gang member’s, he was playing with a gun and shot himself. I remember being too young to really grasp the idea of people dying everyday. So, I’ve always just stored those memories in the back of my head and don’t think about it too often.

Today, I attended a funeral of someone I didn’t know. His name was Dale Quick, 91. Last night, as I was perusing through facebook, I found that our local news paper was asking people to attend the funeral of a Korean War Vet who had no known survivors. They gave out the details of where it was going to be and the time. So, I decided that I would go.

This morning when I got up, I wasn’t sure of what to expect. I got ready and did my everyday routine. I decided it would be best to not wear makeup because I can get emotional. I put on a black romper with a dark floral pattern and tied my hair back in a pony tail. Then, after feeding and letting the dogs run around outside, I got into my car and started to drive down to the funeral home.

Earlier in the morning, I had looked up where the funeral home was located because I recognized the name but wasn’t sure where it was located. As I finally made it to the funeral home 15 minutes later, I cried driving in. There was hundreds of cars in the parking lot and on the street. I had to park a block away from the funeral home. There was so many people they had a separate room with chairs for the overcrowd. I sat next to people I didn’t know. There was children, teens, adults, and seniors. We all sat there in respect, most people didn’t know who Dale Quick was.

During the service, we were able to find out that they had been able to track down a long lost niece. She was the guest of honor. She remembered her uncle but they never knew what had happened to him. Dale had no children. His wife died at the age of 42 and he stayed single the rest of his life. After serving his country for 7 years, Dale joined the postal office where he worked for 20 years. In his later years, he started to attend a methodist church where he became passionate about God. He lived his remaining 17 years in rehabilitation home.

The service ended, we all exited to watch him be escorted out and placed in the hearses. I walked back to my car and drove down to the cemetery. As I was driving to the cemetery, I noticed there was fire trucks with their lights on but the firefighters out of the trucks. It took me three trucks to realize that they were all honoring Dale.

I got there a little bit before the hearses did. I parked my car and walked down to where the burial was going to be. I met a woman, Nadien, we talked about how amazing it was that all of these people were able to take time out of their day and come pay their respects.

As the hearses got there, about 30-50 veterans, men and women, on motorcycles grabbed a US flag and stood at attention surrounding the crowd. There was a prayer and some Bible verses were read. At the end, two Army National Honor Guard folded up the flag. When they presented the flag, I couldn’t hold in the tears. Nadien patted me in the back as the minister dismissed us. We stepped forward to shake the hands of the 5 relatives they were able to find. The niece in the middle, in tears. I found that I had no idea what to say to them. I was speechless. I wanted to say reassuring words but I had noting. So, I paid my respect and walked back to my car.

This all whole experience just made me think deeper into a question that I will have to answer soon. I have postponed applying for my U.S. citizenship for a while because I wasn’t sure I could say the Oath of Allegiance and truly mean it. I see now, that I am not only going to be making a commitment to this country but also the people in it.

I am not a political person, nor do I pretend to be. It has been difficult for me to pay much attention to what’s going on in the country because I cannot partake in making any decision on what is going to happen. Therefore, I always thought it was easier that way, be ignorant because I can’t change it. But if I put it that way, then I am also saying that I don’t care. There are a lot of things that are out of my control but I can make the decision of whether or not I apply for citizenship.

I will continue to pray for the men and women fighting for this country as I do for the law enforcement officers. But, now, I will also remember to pray for those that have already served.

I seek opportunity, not security.

I do not wish to be a kept citizen,

humbled and dulled by the state looking after me.

I want to take a calculated risk;

to dream and to build; to fail or to succeed.

I do not choose to be a common man.

It is my right to be UN-common if I can.

I prefer the challenges of life to guaranteed existence;

the thrill of fulfillment to the state calm of Utopia.

It will not be my heritage to stand erect proud and unafraid;

to face the world and boldly say;

“This I have done.”

An American Creed
By: Dean Alfange